Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Dawn To Dusk

This was a portion of a letter written to one of my oldest and dearest friends at a time when he was experiencing heartache. A heartache greater than he has ever known...and I wasn't quite sure how to help him. All I could do was share the thoughts that were floating in and out of my little mind.

When I went out for my little "jog" last night and you came with me. Your troubles kept time with my feet as I tried to pace myself. As it was growing duskier (is that a word?) and I decided to head home, I turned the corner for the final stretch and there before me was one of the most beautiful sunsets I had ever seen. Pinks and peaches touched with blue and grey--the texture of the clouds reminded me of watching the tide roll in. It was gorgeous. I had the very specific thought come to my mind that we are all in different phases of our "day". Some of us are in the dawn of experience; just emerging from the darkness and dampness of night, when the only light is the kind that doesn't warm or uplift or edify. Some are in midday. They enjoy a time of warmth and security and light. They can see where they are headed and seem to know how to get there. Some are headed into the darkness of turmoil and turbulence from dusk. Some are stuck in what seems a never ending night. They wonder how they got there and when it will end. It is cold and unnerving and lonely.

The truth of the matter is, we all have our dawns and dusks. We move--sometimes unnoticeable and effortlessly--from one time frame to another, often times at the will and whim of others in our lives. Sometimes it is at our own doing. Whoever the fault lies with, we travel independently, yet together, in this never ending cycle of life, over and over and over. But, beauty follows, no matter where we are. The dawn and it's saving light are the most beautiful to those who have fought with the blackness of night. The sunset and it's glory are pure inspiration and promise to those who are leaving the day and heading into darker territory.

Right now, you are in the darkness and you know it. But dawn is coming. It will come.

I have come to recognize that often times the things I am trying to share with others through words are the things that I need. They are what I need to hear...and what I need to hear very often comes through me. Myself. It's a lovely thought that what I need is something that I already have. 

Monday, May 17, 2010

Lost Generation

Regret's Blossom

I do not feel the sting in my eyes
    when I walk through meadows of what has been--
For those deeds which I have come to know
     do not cloud my view.

When regret's lovely blossom swells
    among my memories--and proclaims 
Moments and souls never to be loved by me,
    It's scent breathes sorrow sharp and true.


I wrote this after a discussion with my sweet husband about what makes me sad.  He looked at me like I had just fallen from the moon when I told him that sometimes I grieve for all of the people and places and experiences in this world that I will never know.  I can't help but feel that way every now and then.  

In this big, old, immense world...it seems that missing what you miss out on is inevitable. 


What the Hell. Why not.

Here I go again--giving in to the blog-gods.  Why not?  Third time is a charm, right?  RIGHT?

Thing is, this time it's gonna be for me.  I dabble in writing and figure what good is it if I can't share it?  Kinda my literary-ish therapy, if you will.    So, if you know me, don't be surprised by what you read.  If you are surprised, don't judge.  But really, who cares if you judge?  We can still be friends!

So, if you've stumbled across this blog and happen to like what you see, good for me!